I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize