Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
