I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
