Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
