i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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