Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
