Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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