She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
