I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
