Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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