i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
this is an emotional support booty call
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
