I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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