You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
