Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
