i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
