I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize