i need an iv and a liver transplant
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
