low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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