Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
