How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
