Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
