can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize