nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
