I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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