They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I could fuck to npr.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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