found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
