goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
