My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
