brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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