ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
