you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
