dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
