the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Bring me that man meat
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
