then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
