I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
