I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
