You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
