Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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