I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
