It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
