Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
