after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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