can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
