she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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