You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
