I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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