omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
