capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
