I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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