idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Let's get the cat blown out
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
