singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
last night I used snow as a chaser
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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