Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
