So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so let's talk penis.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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