I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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