it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you didnt know i had herpes?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
