my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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