you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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