I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
time to smoke my breakfast
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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