oh god the rape fog is back!
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
