How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
