But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
