yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
