I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
