proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
